Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Randomize
