i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
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