yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think I died a long time ago.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
