So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
