i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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