i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
