Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
