My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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