it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Hippo gnu deer
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
