So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
