you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
