I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
