I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
