She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
