I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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