Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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