I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
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he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
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So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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