im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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