what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
