U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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