woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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