good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
