I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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