The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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