you would pick up someone in the library
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
FUCK WHALES
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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