who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
