you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
