i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
