tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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