Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
