I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
