how can u be prego again
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
