Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
