My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
