So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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