when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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