So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
