Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
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i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
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Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.