Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize