Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
