rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
