I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
