She is in my trunk
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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