I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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