Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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