I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
