Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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