I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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