I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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