Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
