Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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