No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
