So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
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