theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
