Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
